TWEAKER PEEPER.

My left eye has been twitching off and on since Saturday.

*That's right. A picture of the Hoff came up when I image searched "Eye Twitch," so I'm running with it.

I woke up Saturday morning and, as I was lounging there in my sleepy haze, I realized that my left eye was being weird.

*This is what came up when I image searched "Left Eye." Thank God. I still miss her.

I thought perhaps it would go away, so I tried to ignore it and not think about it. The only problem is that it is rather difficult to brush off the freakish, involuntary movements of something that is on your FACE and helps you SEE. I went to Wrenndolyn's delicious brunch in Brooklyn and had to explain to a few new friends that I was not, in fact, a tweaker. They all were very nice and said they didn't even notice (liars). I used the low feelings I was experiencing about my tweaker peeper as an excuse to eat more of Wrenndolyn's homemade french toast thingamabobohmygod and donuts from the best place ever.

The tweaky peepy continued on through Saturday night, eased up a slight amount on Sunday, but was then back on Monday and has been a flutter throughout this week. Yesterday I emailed my mother the following:

"MY LEFT EYE IS STILL KIND OF TWITCHING...THIS HAS BEEN SINCE SATURDAY. AM I DYING?"

My sister told me to look it up online, which I had resisted doing because whenever you look anything up online it tells you that you are going to die in like, 42.5 hours and that your brain is going to explode.

I try to avoid doing that.

My mother responded with,

"If so, you will be the first and in medical journals worldwide. How would you like me to state cause of death in your obit?

If you live for the next few minutes, please read..."

She then posted a link to the Mayo Clinic website that explains how and why tweaker peepers occur. Minus a few, I have been suffering from pretty much all of the symptoms. So, we can relax because I am not dying and my brain is not going to explode (at least, for now). Today I didn't let myself have any coffee, I went to bed last night at 9:30pm (even though I got up at 6:30am) and I am going to hit the hay early again tonight.

On a level of 1-10 (10 being the worst) my Tweaks are at about a 4 today, which is a lot lower from Saturday's all-time high of an 11.5. I thought my eyelid was going to snap off.

Let's get this baby down to a zero by Saturday!

TWEAK OUT!