EXPRESSION OF THE (THURS)DAY.

I'd like to take this opportunity to briefly address my new term. I am proud to introduce you to:

"DON'T IGNITE ME."

If someone is challenging you, pushing you to the edge, really frosting your cookies, and they're about to make you explode, just whip around and be all, "DON'T IGNITE ME" and be sure to use your finger all pointy like or do some sort of gesturey gesture.

They will be terrified of your fierceness and let you have your way.

You can also put a positive spin on the igniting by being all, "I am going to get so ignited this afternoon and completely clean my apartment until it shines like the top of the Chrysler Building."

My new expression will be really handy for you this holiday season because you will be able to use it multiple ways:

1. At holiday family functions when your sibling or parental unit or other drunken family member makes you want to scream but you don't want to cause a ruckus by raising your voice. Just turn your head, through clenched teeth drop the "Don't ignite me" bomb on them, and walk away. Mission accomplished, crisis averted, everyone's happy.

2. If someone tries to hand you a drink after you've already had 12 and you're worried you might get a little too drunk. You can say, "Oh no, don't get me all ignited!" meaning, "If I drink anymore alcohol I will literally be able to be set on fire. You will be able to flammabalize me."

Ohh...that's a new one. Flammabalize.

3. On New Years, you can exclaim, "I'm getting ignited this year! All my dreamz are going to come true in 2011!" Meaning...ok you should get that one on your own.

I hope you enjoy your ignition and please let me know if you have any questions.