Thursday, January 29, 2009

PAPER AND PEN.


I'm going to share a little secret with y'all that has been working some wonders in my life.  

I have always been really into lists.  I make them every day to help me figure out what I need to accomplish and they've always worked like a charm.  In fact, they are kind of my life line for organization to the point that I bought a small notebook where I write my lists down.  I call it, "Book of Lists."  

I know, it is a complicated title but you'll get it some day.

My move to New York was for a lot of reasons, but the biggest was to make things happen in terms of life and my career; I was ready to live big.  Not that I have ever been the type to live meekly, if you will - I tend to be a "go big or go home" kind of gal - but I think you're catching what I'm throwing.  Right?  Right.

I moved here in September, took some time to feel out the scene, got a lot done, but when the New Year arrived I was ready to get specific and get started.  It was time to get ACTIVATED.  So, I flipped my personal "on" switch, took my little lists, and decided to make a big one.  A life list.  I figured it was time to really ask the universe for the specific things I wanted because there is no time like the present.  Especially when you have a rockin' new president!

I went and bought a big, giant piece of really nice white paper, sat down, and wrote what I wanted out of January.  I came up with six things that I really wanted from this month and wrote them under the header of "January."  

As I said, my titles are complicated.  

I wrote out the rest of the months and then I taped the piece of paper up right next to my bed.  Every day I wake up to see my list, and every day I go to bed and look at it.  I have three days left in January and I have been able to cross of every single thing from that list.  It feels so damn good every time I get to cross something off that list and it helps remind me that I really am getting things done.  I can see my accomplishments right there on my wall.

Putting out into the universe what you want will start to pay off.  But you have to declare it and you have to get out there and just do it.  DECLARE YOSELF.  OWN YO DREAMS.  Say out loud what it is that you want and be specific, not embarrassed about wanting something big or small.  And I think you will be amazed at what starts to appear...

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

BAG PIPER BLOOPER. BUT, SERIOUSLY.

I was having lunch with my Sugar Daddy Swendolyn who was in town for business from D.C. when we happened upon this piece of news.

Now, I understand that there are rules of the piping and marching and what have you, but seriously?  You are seriously going to ban the fellow for waving at the greatest man of all time?

I think Obama should pardon him or something.  I think this is atrocious.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

OUCH.

Some woman had EIGHT BABIES yesterday in a hospital in L.A.  I mean, congratulations and all but seriously?  Eight at once?  I would consider loaning 3/4 of them out to friends and then getting them back once they could sleep through the night.

The biggest news right now on the planet is that this guy



Is going to be on Dancing With The Stars.  That would be Donny Osmond.  I believe this will be the first time anyone with a technicolor dream coat has cut a rug on DWTS.  I think my sister just yelped out loud.  I know, I KNOW.  Even though I don't have a TV, I will find a way to see this.  

Even though she has always given me the willies, I am feeling bad for Marcia Cross and this photo.

S'okay, Marsh.

Everyone poops.

WTF BLOGGER.

I have a post put together and for some reason Blogger, my host site, isn't letting me upload pictures right now.  I don't think the website has woken up yet.

I will continue to drink my tea and wait.  Hopefully I will be back up and running shortly.

I apologize for the inconvenience.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

DID THAT JUST HAPPEN?

I was out last night with my homies dancing the night away, having a blast per the usual. As I was walking from one part of the room to another, a guy stopped me and said, "I really like your wig." I turned and said, "What?!?" and he repeated, "I really like your wig!" I immediately cracked up laughing and explained that it was my real hair, which made him thoroughly confused. "But it looks so perfect!" he replied. I told him to touch my head and feel that it was in fact my real hair. He couldn't believe it. How weird and hilarious is that????
It totally made my night.

Friday, January 23, 2009

CRAPSTONE BUTTHOLES.

Happy Friday! There was a John Malkovich look alike in my spin class today! Huzzah! And now this! In a few hours I will be treating myself to my Mud Coffee because Friday is Funday.
Hope you don't have to take a trip down butthole road this weekend.
In other news, my smarty pants cousin got into Hastings yesterday. SO PROUD OF HIM. He is not a butthole road.
From the NY Times World Section today...
January 23, 2009
No Snickering: That Road Sign Means Something Else
By SARAH LYALL
CRAPSTONE, England — When ordering things by telephone, Stewart Pearce tends to take a proactive approach to the inevitable question “What is your address?”
He lays it out straight, so there is no room for unpleasant confusion. “I say, ‘It’s spelled “crap,” as in crap,’ ” said Mr. Pearce, 61, who has lived in Crapstone, a one-shop country village in Devon, for decades.
Disappointingly, Mr. Pearce has so far been unable to parlay such delicate encounters into material gain, as a neighbor once did.
“Crapstone,” the neighbor said forthrightly, Mr. Pearce related, whereupon the person on the other end of the telephone repeated it to his co-workers and burst out laughing. “They said, ‘Oh, we thought it didn’t really exist,’ ” Mr. Pearce said, “and then they gave him a free something.”
In the scale of embarrassing place names, Crapstone ranks pretty high. But Britain is full of them. Some are mostly amusing, like Ugley, Essex; East Breast, in western Scotland; North Piddle, in Worcestershire; and Spanker Lane, in Derbyshire.
Others evoke images that may conflict with residents’ efforts to appear dignified when, for example, applying for jobs.
These include Crotch Crescent, Oxford; Titty Ho, Northamptonshire; Wetwang, East Yorkshire; Slutshole Lane, Norfolk; and Thong, Kent. And, in a country that delights in lavatory humor, particularly if the word “bottom” is involved, there is Pratts Bottom, in Kent, doubly cursed because “prat” is slang for buffoon.
As for Penistone, a thriving South Yorkshire town, just stop that sophomoric snickering.
“It’s pronounced ‘PENNIS-tun,’ ” Fiona Moran, manager of the Old Vicarage Hotel in Penistone, said over the telephone, rather sharply. When forced to spell her address for outsiders, she uses misdirection, separating the tricky section into two blameless parts: “p-e-n” — pause — “i-s-t-o-n-e.”
Several months ago, Lewes District Council in East Sussex tried to address the problem of inadvertent place-name titillation by saying that “street names which could give offense” would no longer be allowed on new roads.
“Avoid aesthetically unsuitable names,” like Gaswork Road, the council decreed. Also, avoid “names capable of deliberate misinterpretation,” like Hoare Road, Typple Avenue, Quare Street and Corfe Close.
(What is wrong with Corfe Close, you might ask? The guidelines mention the hypothetical residents of No. 4, with their unfortunate hypothetical address, “4 Corfe Close.” To find the naughty meaning, you have to repeat the first two words rapidly many times, preferably in the presence of your fifth-grade classmates.)
The council explained that it was only following national guidelines and that it did not intend to change any existing lewd names.
Still, news of the revised policy raised an outcry.
“Sniggering at double entendres is a loved and time-honored tradition in this country,” Carol Midgley wrote in The Times of London. Ed Hurst, a co-author, with Rob Bailey, of “Rude Britain” and “Rude UK,” which list arguably offensive place names — some so arguably offensive that, unfortunately, they cannot be printed here — said that many such communities were established hundreds of years ago and that their names were not rude at the time.
“Place names and street names are full of history and culture, and it’s only because language has evolved over the centuries that they’ve wound up sounding rude,” Mr. Hurst said in an interview.
Mr. Bailey, who grew up on Tumbledown Dick Road in Oxfordshire, and Mr. Hurst got the idea for the books when they read about a couple who bought a house on Butt Hole Road, in South Yorkshire.
The name most likely has to do with the spot’s historic function as a source of water, a water butt being a container for collecting water. But it proved to be prohibitively hilarious.
“If they ordered a pizza, the pizza company wouldn’t deliver it, because they thought it was a made-up name,” Mr. Hurst said. “People would stand in front of the sign, pull down their trousers and take pictures of each other’s naked buttocks.”
The couple moved away.
The people in Crapstone have not had similar problems, although their sign is periodically stolen by word-loving merrymakers. And their village became a stock joke a few years ago, when a television ad featuring a prone-to-swearing soccer player named Vinnie Jones showed Mr. Jones’s car breaking down just under the Crapstone sign.
In the commercial, Mr. Jones tries to alert the towing company to his location while covering the sign and trying not to say “crap” in front of his young daughter.
The consensus in the village is that there is a perfectly innocent reason for the name “Crapstone,” though it is unclear what that is. Theories put forth by various residents the other day included “place of the rocks,” “a kind of twisting of the original word,” “something to do with the soil” and “something to do with Sir Francis Drake,” who lived nearby.
Jacqui Anderson, a doctor in Crapstone who used to live in a village called Horrabridge, which has its own issues, said that she no longer thought about the “crap” in “Crapstone.”
Still, when strangers ask where she’s from, she admitted, “I just say I live near Plymouth.”

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

A WHOLE NEW WORLD.

It's a whole new world!!!
I should start a new career as a photo shopper.

Anyways, kids, it has happened and damn it feels good to be a gangsta. I mean, American. I feel so freaking proud and the incredible thing is that you can feel that all over the place. There is a new sense of light everywhere and it can't be denied, yo.

It truly was a remarkable day yesterday and I was fortunate enough to share it with some wonderful friends at an Obama Brunch complete with balloons, streamers, festive attire, and of course our very own Obama cake.


We sang "Happy Inauguration Day" at the top of our lungs to him.

Life has been full of inaugural activity. I was in Virginia over the weekend for a STELLAR Obama bash hosted by a world famous political blogger and friend, along with some of the best friends a girl could have. So much fun, so many good people, so many good memories. Coco even did an entire lip sync and impromptu dance routine to "New York, New York." There was also some step aerobics. So killer.

Have some good blog postings coming up, including one detailing my first winter based activity from over the weekend. For now I must continue on with my Gettin' Sh*t Done Day!

Saturday, January 17, 2009

What's up, my peeps.  I really got slammed by the plague and it has taken me quite some time to bounce back.  I've been taking it easy, sleeping a lot and attempting to keep my social extravaganzas to a minimum.  Last night I attended a lovely bday party for one of my dearest darlings and she had a classic pizza party.  We all sat on the floor, ate, and played Apples to Apples.  How great is that?  Nobody does that anymore.  I think it is time to bring back sitting around and playing board games for 2009.


I have discovered this thing in my neighborhood called "The Mud Truck."  It is a bright orange truck (I like orange) that sells freakishly delicious coffee for a very good price right outside the subway stop.  They also have a cafe on 9th street and a truck in the West Village...I allow myself one cup every Friday because Friday is Fun Day and because I do not need a coffee habit.  Bad for the bank account and bad for my brain.  I'm cracked out enough as it is.


And crack is whack, according to Whitney.

Anyhoo, I leave tomorrow morning to drive to Virginia for a big Obama Bash and I couldn't be more excited.  I only wish I wasn't still a few points behind on the health spectrum, but whatcha gonna do?

A friend sent me this video and it has blown my mind.  Copy the link and put it in your browser.

http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1778399&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

I'M BAAAACK.

WHOWZA. I am back up and running, still sounding a little like a man, but I am back. The fever is gone and it feels good to be back in the land of the living.
It is cold as all get out today and I nearly froze to death walking to the subway, but at least it is sunny out and not rainy. And at least I get to watch a TiVo'd Gossip Girl at the end of the week.
Will be back with more later. Just letting y'all know that I have pulled through and survived the plague.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

GUESS WHICH ONE IS MY BOYFRIEND.

OH NO.

You know you're in bad shape when you cry at both Grey's Anatomy AND The Hills (but only the part when Whitney Port moves to NYC).

These are both very bad signs.

My delivery of Theraflu has arrived and I just finished downing my pomegranate juice.  Maybe my emotions will be under more control after getting some of the liquid pain killer in my system.

I need TV/movie suggestions very badly.  But seeing as I don't have a TV (which means I can't watch the Golden Globes tonight) they need to be things I can watch online.  

Please help.

I AM SO BORED.


IN A FEVER.


And we're not talking like June Carter Cash, here.

I admit it:  I AM SICK.  LIKE SICKITY SICK.  SICK IN THE CITY SICK.  

I feel like total buttpie, I have a fever and am aching all over.  And I NEVER get sick.  NEVER!!  I can't even tell you the last time I was illin' like this.



But I admit it.  I am not in a good place.  

I also hate being sick because I do not like sitting around all day and I get so bored; it isn't exactly in my nature to lounge around for long periods of time.  My roommate is a dreamgirl, though, because she is letting me borrow her computer to watch TV episodes online and she is getting things for me from the store AND picking up some DVD's.  

I will be 100% by tomorrow.  Totally.  Don't be worried.  But don't let yourself get sick.  For real serious.  Because this is the sh*ts.  

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

COURTESY OF MIZ MILLAH.

A new blog to peruse, called "Cake Wrecks" about professional cakes that are heinous. The best post so far is here, but feel free to give the blog a looksies.


Some of the cakes are pretty hilarious.
Link
www.cakewrecks.blogspot.com

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

WHERE HAS THIS SHOW BEEN ALL MY LIFE.

I am rockin' life without a TV, but Kimtastic has one and she gets all the credit for introducing me to my new favorite show.

Here is the premise: Martha Stewart's daughter, Alexis, and her best friend, Jennifer, sit on a couch, watch old Martha episodes, and rip her a new one. I cannot even begin to tell you how riotous this show is. Alexis is so jaded, cranky, and sarcastic and Jennifer is just really nice, married, and has a great sense of humor.



Find this show and watch it. Watch it all the time. It really will make your life better.

Apparently it is on the Fine Living channel...I have no idea what that is. All I know is that Kimtastic has millions of them saved on her TiVo.

Monday, January 5, 2009

CONNUNDRUM.

Riddle me this:

What do you do when you're in a coffee shop, working on your computer, with all of your stuff out (obviously organized, not crazy messy) and you have to pee?

Do you pack everything up? Do you risk leaving everything on the table? Do you ask the girl next to you to watch your stuff while you race to the loo for a turbo fast piddle?

Please respond immediately as I am in said predicament.

KThnxBai.

HAPPY GO LUCKY.

On Saturday afternoon it was chilly and I was tired. What do I like to do when these circumstances arise? GO TO THE MOVIES! So I went with my buddy Kimtastic and we were treated to the film, "Happy Go Lucky." So far, it is the best movie I've seen in 2009. And no, it isn't the only movie (but it is the first one in the theatre for the year so far). Regardless, it is just so lovely and uplifting. And I must say it is a rather contemplative film disguised as a comedy...and I absolutely loved it.

Go see it.