Tuesday, December 30, 2008

NEW YIZZLE.

I can't believe that 2009 is almost upon us. It has been a stupendous year for oh so many reasons and I have combined a totally random rant reviewing various things from 2008. Please excuse the discombobulation of this compilation. It's just how I'm rollin' right now. I may add more if I have the time, but let's start with these...

JAY-Z AND BEYONCE - BIGGEST MYSTERY OF 2008
I love me some Jay-Z. The guy just reeks of cool and he is always turbo chill unless he is pumpin it up onstage. So why in the hell did he go and marry Beyonce??? Beyonce. Seriously??? A few reasons why I don't like the B:

1. Beyonce has really scary armpits. Trust me. And they are everywhere.

2. Beyonce’s mom designs all her pageant-reject dresses and she ends up looking like a bad tranny. Her outfits just don’t ever work for me and it pains me to see my boy Jay with her
3. Beyonce is not articulate
4. Beyonce rubs me the wrong way so Jay shouldn’t be with her.

P.S. If Beyonce looked like this all the time

I wouldn’t be so annoyed at her.

BRITNEY SPEARS – GIVER OF THE YEAR

What can I say about the Queen of Disaster? She has given us so much over the course of her life. She has given us K-Fed (Papa-Zao!), her 2 boys Tater Tot and Nugget, a public melt down, the noun “Britney” as in “wear some undies with your skirt because I don’t want you to flash your Britney at me when you’re getting into the car,"and she has contributed to the world of film with her documentary detailing her “come back,” The girl just doesn’t stop giving. What a trooper.

LILO THE LEZ – GENDER ACTIVIST OF THE YEAR

Lilo has really outdone herself this year with Romancing the SamRon. I don’t know if I totally believe her lesbianess, but whatever. She has made some dramatic improvements, even though she is still obviously a cracktard. She learned from Britney to cover up her, well, Britney, which was a huge step for her and we haven't had a LoHo Peep Show in quite some time. We haven’t seen her passed out in the front of a car with blow all over her face, although she has been surrounding herself with the booze and the bumps since getting out of rehab. Two points for LoHo. Looking forward to marking her progress in '09.

NKOTB – BIGGEST COME BACK EVEN THOUGH YOU NEVER WENT AWAY

I don’t really have to say much about this except that NKOTB rocked the world this year with such force it could have given you 2 black eyes and an orgasm all at once.

Next, please.

HOPSTOP
This has been around for awhile, but some folks didn’t know about it and I have used it more this year than ever before. It is a website that will find you walking/public transportation/driving directions for several major cities in the US. It is brilliant. Check it out.

CLEAN WELL

I never liked instant hand sanitizer because the idea of rubbing alcohol on my hands and then putting my hands near my mouth or whatever always grossed me out. I found this stuff in Whole Foods. It is an all natural hand sanitizer and it works. You can buy their products at most health food stores. Love them.

NOAH AND THE WHALE



These kids are just wonderful and get my number one slot for 2008. I fell in love with them long before I saw them in concert, waited anxiously for their very first album to come out and it did not disappoint. They manage to make beautiful sounds and write lyrics that could tip the scales in the cliché direction, but somehow they end up being poignant. It was by far my most favorite live performance of the year. And they are pretty much all completely adorable, which doesn’t hurt. Oh, and the lead guy plays the ukulele. Holla!

Check out their website here.

DIDDY - KING OF IT ALL
We couldn't have won the election without him. And we couldn't have had as good of a 2008 without him.

Thank God for his life, because he is one entertaining spectacle.

A QUOTE I JUST OVERHEARD IN THE BAR WHERE I AM WRITING
Girl: "I miss Mike. I mean, I wish we could still hang out but it's like, I have a restraining order against you, man."

SAVING GRACE - BEST OF THE BEST - THE FUTURE

Have a very happy and safe New Year's. I'll see y'all in 2009!!!






Monday, December 29, 2008

CRUSHING.

I completely forgot about this video post until a friend reminded me over the holidays. Call me a terrible person, but I just get such a kick out of this. I am dying with laughter. DYING.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

LEAVIN' FOR THE CITAYYY.


I am hopping on a red-eye flight tonight to head back to the Big Apple. I've had a superb visit home and I can't believe it is already time to go, but I am also excited to return to my apartment and be in the city that never sleeps.

I will definitely be sleeping on the plane tonight and hopefully my steady practice of drinking a glass of red wine, putting in ear plugs, and slapping on my eye mask before the flight even takes off will serve me well.

See y'all from the East Side!


Thursday, December 25, 2008

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all of my faithful blog readers.

video

You make my days merry and bright. I love you all dearly.




Major Thankful Credits:
Director of Photography: Coogs #1
Lighting: Mrs. Coogs
Set Design: The Holy Family

Thursday, December 18, 2008

STOP THE PLOW.

Jeremy Piven has apparently abruptly left the Broadway production of David Mamet's "Speed The Plow" because he has high levels of mercury. What?? How does that even happen?

Mamet's comment has made my day:

"I talked to Jeremy on the phone, and he told me that he discovered that he had a very high level of mercury," Mamet told Daily Variety. "So my understanding is that he is leaving show business to pursue a career as a thermometer."

P.S. I am back in California!! Wahoo!! A very exciting holiday video post is coming your way soon...

Monday, December 15, 2008

MAKE IT SNAPPY.

This weekend was full of activity because I moved into my new apartment (yey!!) but it was a little exhausting. And, I have already had a run-in with our resident Crazy. He is loony and lives next door. Awesome.

I had a delicious brunch at a fabulous vegetarian restaurant around the corner with my friend, Kimtastic, and then it was off to a holiday party in Brooklyn. I then came home and made ginger snaps to give as presents to a few peeps before I head back, back to Cali Cali on Tuesday.

They turned out pretty well!

But let us just say that cooking in a weenie east village apartment kitchen is a CHALLENGE. I almost hit my head about 40 times, I had to balance cookie sheets on various semi-flat surfaces, and I had to cream butter and sugar together with my bare hands because I don't have a Cuisinart.

But it was worth it.

Tomorrow promises to be a busy day because I have to get lots done before hopping on my flight home Tuesday afternoon. I am SUPER excited to go home and see my family and friends for the holidays. But for now, I must sleep.

SORRY MOM, SORRY T.

After a lovely conversation this evening with my mother, she told me in closing that she really loves my blog and reads it daily (thanks, ma) but that she was concerned by my last post because it was not putting kindness out into the world.

Basically, my Mom was mad at me for posting about Tara Reid going to rehab because she felt like I was making fun of Miz T and I hadn't put up a nice picture of her.

I explained that my post was supporting her decision to hi the 'hab, and that, unfortunately, there aren't any decent photos of Tara available because she has been roughin' it up pretty much for the last 25 years.

But, Tara, I am SORRY for blogging about you going TO REHAB and I wish you ALL THE BEST and ALL THE KINDNESS in your SOBER ENDEAVORS.

I hope you are granted the serenity to accept the things you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Friday, December 12, 2008

DUH.

Tara Reid checked into rehab today.


Shocker.

Wishing you lots of luck, Miz T.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

POPS ARNOLD.

Every Tuesday I participate in staged readings at this great theatre company here in NY called Naked Angels. They do really wonderful work and you should totally check them out. Anyways, tonight I was at the readings and I look to my right and who do I see but DAN LAURIA WHO PLAYED KEVIN ARNOLD'S DAD ON THE WONDER YEARS.


I KID YOU NOT. I died. I immediately died. I have seen famous people before and I don't care, but this rocked me to my core. I kind of got teary eyed and wanted to just go and hug him. He was in one of the readings and he was actually fantastic, which made the whole thing even better. He was really, really good. Spot on, actually. He was endearing, vulnerable, and funny.

And, if you know me or read my blog at all, you know how much The Wonder Years has meant to me.

I am over the MOOOOON people. Do you even know what this means to me?? I was in the same room as Kevin Arnold's dad?

I could die right now.

RIGHT NOW.

Monday, December 8, 2008

ON THE MOVE AGAIN.

This week is getting a little wackadoo. I am moving into another sublet on Saturday and then flying home for Christmas on the 16th, just got back from a faboo gala for a theatre company and have stuff booked all week long and it has been freezing and I forgot my hat this morning and thought I was going to die.

I felt very posh tonight shmoozing amongst some theatre elite. I ate a lot of brie and almost bid on a silent auction spa package. ?!??!?!?? What was I thinking???!?!??!? I didn't do it. I was being an idiot, but I really thought it would be great to have a day at the spa. A day at the spa that I totally can't afford. More on all that later.

I just read that a woman in India had a baby and she is SEVENTY YEARS OLD. 7-0.

I am so grossed out by this. What were they thinking? SIIIIIIICK. I am totally horrified and am going to have trouble sleeping. My mind is HAUNTED.

On a better note, Liza Minelli's show is up and running in New York. That my friends, is siiiiiick in the best sense of the word.

Glory be.

Sorry this post is so cracked out.

I will leave you with the fact that THIS GUY


was one of the many stellar folks at the gala tonight. And if you don't know who he is/what show he is on, you are a poopy loser.

Friday, December 5, 2008

LOT NUMBER 663 THEN.





I've just returned from my first trip to Sotheby's to pick up 2 photographs that were purchased at auction by one of my employers. I obviously felt very fabulous pretending like the purchases were mine and they even gave me free coffee while I was waiting for them to wrap them up. I'm am a little bit wired because I don't usually drink the black stuff. I had coffee earlier this morning after my 7:00am trip to the gym, and I obviously couldn't say no to a free cup from Sotheby's. I mean, COME ON.

I also made sure I went to the bathroom while I was there to check it out. You can always tell how classy and clean a place is by the bathroom (especially in restaurants). Wasn't as swanky as I had hoped, although they did have a ladies lounge/powder room with seating before the actual bathroom. But, it was really small and the chairs were wooden; they didn't look comfy. I mean, even the ladies lounge at Neimans has couches. Whatevs.


I'm feeling rawther Eloisian today.




My sis is having a lovely holiday dinner this evening that I am very much looking forward to. I will most certainly be busting out my holiday playlist and vocalizing like whoa.


Falalalala lalalala.


Wednesday, December 3, 2008

FOUR CHRISTMASES OR 2.5 HOURS I WILL NEVER GET BACK.


I have just returned from seeing Four Christmases. It was so bad I didn't even know what to do with myself. And, I was on the film shoot for the movie and I'm not in it. Cut, nixed, gone.

AND THANK GOD BECAUSE THE MOVIE IS POOP ON A REEL.


The SF Chron guy fell asleep. I, on the other hand, was so awestruck by the crapptacity of the movie that I stayed awake. I was so confused that I randomly burst into laughing fits with my roommate. I felt robbed, I felt drunk, I felt cheated, I felt disappointed in Reese.

And they totally busted up the geography of San Francisco.

We told our doorman not to see it as well as the stranger in the elevator.

Hey Seth Gordon: You owe me $12.00.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

WARM BUNS.


When the weather first dropped to uber frigid, I literally froze my arse off one day. It was so cold and I was walking around for hours and didn't have a layer on under my jeans. My friend Eliz told me about these heat-tech tights from Uni Qlo. I have purchased them, and they have made me oh so very happy.


They are light, not itchy, and they actually fit well. And they keep me uber warm and fit under my jeans. They also come in tons of cute colors and patterns including herringbone; check it out online. The solids are under $5 and the colors/patterns are $7.90. Not bad!

For those of you unfamiliar with Uni Qlo, it is a Japanese store that is similar to H&M in terms of price point, but has more classic stuff and is a higher quality (for the most part).

I dig.

SIZING: I stole the photo of the tights from somewhere online. I got the S/M and they fit perfectly; I checked with a store clerk and if you are taller get the L/XL because they have more length. I am 5'5" and there is even a little extra space for me in there. I think they might run a smidget big.