COUNTDOWN TO HOME ALREADY.

I came back to the Hattan of Mans late Saturday afternoon and returned to an entirely different city. The trees are on sale, the wreaths are out, and apparently Christmas has arrived.

I have written a poem about it:

HOLIDAY CONUNDRUM.

The Christmas trees are on sale in my hood.

I'm pondering if buying one I should.

One that is tall? One that is fat? Spending 45 dollars I'll never get back?

A good thing about the green tree

Is that it don't smell like pee pee

Which is the normal sort of scent

Lingering in the East V.

What to do, what to do...

At least my town doesn't smell like poo.

I spent all day Sunday cleaning, organizing, cooking, cleaning some more, and getting myself all pulled together. I have to lock it down because I only have a few weeks left before I head back to California for the holidays and there is a lot on the calendar!

Thanksgiving was absolutely splendid. I will wait to write more once I get some pictures, but let's just say that I had delicious food and definitely laughed my face off. I am so lucky to have such great family and friends; the only downer was that my Mom was all the way out in California :(.........

That was me weeping.

Anyhoo, I hope you all had great holidays and I also hope we find out what is up with Tizzy Woods and his crash, pronto. I mean, what is up with that?!

I NEED TO LIVE HERE.

I am totally obsessed with these people's upstate NY country home. It is the perfect balance of simplicity and funk.

It is just my style.

I need it.

You can read more about these super cool folks and see more pictures of their house here. Husband is a photographer, wife is an artist.

Duh.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

Adam Sandler - The Thanksgiving Song

HAPPY (ALMOST) THANKSGIVING!

Today I have an audition in the morning, work, and then I am running off to Grand Central to take the train up north for my most favorite holiday of the year. I will laugh my brains out, sleep, play football, and eat the sweet potato/apple dish Ol El makes that I dream about constantly.

I will leave Manhattan looking like this:

And come back looking like this:

Let the games begin. I hope you all have wonderful a Thanskgiving!!

I LOVE THIS.

HOLIDAY HAM IN THE FACE.

Life is dangerous, particularly around the holiday season. These days you never know when you're going to get slapped in the face by a huge hunk of meat. And I'm not talking about Mark Paul Gosselar. I'm talking about ham.

For example, Paula Deen got nailed by one.

She is such a trooper. Be careful, guys.

HAPPY EARLY THANKSGIVING AND CHRISTMAS, MOM.

Mom!

Diddy is coming out with a new line of perfumes and they are called:

I AM KING
and
UNFORGIVABLE.

Say hello to your stocking stuffers.

OH LORDY I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

They thought this guy was in a coma for 20 + years but really he was just paralyzed and couldn't speak out loud.

MY WORST NIGHTMARE.

Article here.

Belgian says he was alert but mute for 23 years

By RAF CASERT, Associated Press Writer

Monday, November 23, 2009

For 23 torturous years, Rom Houben says he lay trapped in his paralyzed body, aware of what was going on around him but unable to tell anyone or even cry out.

The car-crash victim had been diagnosed as being in a vegetative state but appears to have been conscious the whole time. An expert using a specialized type of brain scan that was not available in the 1980s finally realized it, and unlocked Houben's mind again.

The 46-year-old Houben is now communicating with one finger and a special touchscreen on his wheelchair.

"Powerlessness. Utter powerlessness. At first I was angry, then I learned to live with it," he said, punching the message into the screen during an interview with the Belgian RTBF network, aired Monday. He has called his rescue his "renaissance."

Over the years, Houben's family refused to accept the word of his doctors, firmly believing their son knew what was happening around him, and gave no thought to letting him die, said his mother, Fina. She was vindicated when the breakthrough came.

"At that moment, you think, `Oh, my God. See, now you know.' I was always convinced," she said in a telephone interview with The Associated Press.

The discovery took place three years ago but only recently came to light, after publication of a study on the misdiagnosis of people with consciousness disorders.

While a 23-year error is highly unusual, the wrong diagnosis of patients with consciousness disorders is far too common, according to the study, led by Steven Laureys of Belgium's Coma Science Group.

"Despite the importance of diagnostic accuracy, the rate of misdiagnosis of vegetative state has not substantially changed in the past 15 years," the study said. Back then, studies found that "up to 43 percent of patients with disorders of consciousness are erroneously assigned a diagnosis of vegetative state."

The issue is fraught with difficult medical and ethical questions. Patients diagnosed as being in a vegetative state with no hope of recovery are sometimes allowed to die, as was done in 2005 with Terri Schiavo, the severely brain-damaged Florida woman at the center of the biggest right-to-die case in U.S. history. Her feeding tube was removed.

"It makes you think. There is still a lot of work to be done" to better diagnose such disorders, said Caroline Schnakers of the Coma Science Group.

Houben was injured in an auto accident in 1983 when he was 20. Doctors said he fell into a coma at first, then went into a vegetative state.

A coma is a state of unconsciousness in which the eyes are closed and the patient cannot be roused. A vegetative state is a condition in which the eyes are open and can move, and the patient has periods of sleep and periods of wakefulness, but remains unconscious and cannot reason or respond.

During Houben's two lost decades, his eyesight was poor, but the experts say he could hear doctors, nurses and visitors to his bedside, and feel the touch of a relative. He says that during that time, he heard his father had died, but he was unable to show any emotion.

Over the years, Houben's skeptical mother took him to the United States five times for tests. More searching got her in touch with Laureys, who put Houben through a PET scan.

"We saw his brain was almost normal," said neuropsychologist Audrey Vanhaudenhuyse, who has worked with Houben for three years.

The family and doctors then began trying to establish communication. A breakthrough came when he was able to indicate yes or no by slightly moving his foot to push a computer device placed there by Laureys' team. Then came the spelling of words using the touchscreen.

Houben's condition has since been diagnosed as a form of "locked-in syndrome," in which people are unable to speak or move but can think and reason.

"You have to imagine yourself lying in bed wanting to speak and move but unable to do so — while in your head you are OK," Vanhaudenhuyse said. "It was extremely difficult for him and he showed a lot of anger, which is normal since he was very frustrated."

With so much to say after suffering for so long in silence, Houben has started writing a book.

"He lives from day to day," his 73-year-old mother said. "He can be funny and happy," but is also given to black humor.

Recently he went to his father's grave for the planting of a tree.

"A letter he wrote was lowered into the grave through a tube," his mother said. "He closed his eyes for half an hour, because he cannot cry."

There is little hope that Houben's physical condition will get better, but his mother said she refuses to give up: "We continue to search and search. For 26 years already."

FIRST DAY.

Had my first day of work (yes! work!) today with a woman who is very famous for designing these:

I'm not even close to getting married, but I gotta tell you that I would like to have this one.

Or this one:

The woman is a genius. And, I'm pooped.

EDWARD SHARPE AND THE TWO GIRLS WITH BIG HAIR AND BAGS.

Last night I was treated to the delicious sounds of Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros at Bowery Ballroom. I had never been there and I had a total and complete blast. I must say that the band put on one helluva show and, even though their set was short, it was fantastic. They sounded wonderful and although they are kind of loose and all over the place, they did an excellent job of not allowing that to compromise their musicality. They were on it, the energy was high, and Jade even had on a bra.

It was stellar.

I was standing there next to Sanchez and all of the sudden the room went black, I was disoriented, and my face was covered with all of this scratchy darkness. Did the power go out? Was there an explosion? Was I having a near death experience?

NO.

I was being attacked. By the hair of the girl who shoved herself in front of me. Her hair was so freaking huge that she could have smuggled in a pug, a birthday cake, and a blow torch underneath it and no one would have noticed. I have never seen anything like it.

Once I emerged from the forest of no light and re-oriented myself, the girl turned around and gave ME the stink eye.

???!??!??!?!??

I was not amused. Then, at one point, after I made a comment to Sanchez, Big Hair turned around and the following exchange occurred:

BH:"Is there a problem with my hair?"

Me: "Well, it is kind of repeatedly hitting me in the face."

BH: "Well, you could just step back."

Me: "I kind of already did that..."

BH: "Then you know what to do."

Me: "That doesn't make any sense..."

Hilarity. The lights really went out (like the real lights, not the figurative lights of life that were taken from me when I was buried alive) and her wastey waif friend scuttled off to buy another drink at the bar.

Oh joy.

The concert started rockin, and so did Big Hair.

Later on, her sloppy friend came back with her GIANT bag and she proceeded to drape her GIANT coat over the side of her GIANT bag creating a GIANT pile of insanity. She also began to dance around like a moron and was whipping herself all over the crowded floor like a drunken grasshopper. At one point, her bag nailed the guy behind her in the junk and he was not amused. When he said, "Ouch!" she turned around and asked, "What's YOUR problem?"

The guy was more polite than I would have been. He just gave her a look of total disapproval. I would have been like, "HEY! You just nailed me in my BABYMAKER."

Finally, Drunken Grasshopper and Big Hair were dancing so violently that we were all almost knocked over and everyone hated them. DGH was trying to grab me to move me in front of her to which I responded, "Do not touch me" and BH came over and was like, "Let's all chill out and have a great time."

She proceeded to dance like a beast, whipping everyone within a 10 mile radius with her hair. I think my retina is permanently scratched. I may need surgery.

MORAL OF THE STORY:

If you are going to be in a public place and you have really big hair, or a really big bag, please keep it under control. You are a potential danger to those around you. They say "Safety First" for a reason, so please pay attention, put your hair in a bun, and leave your big a** bag at home.

RAY IS A MAINAH.

I've always enjoyed the tunes of Ray Lamontagne and I just found out he used to live in Lewiston, Maine - where I went to college! Woot!

I'm digging this one...

I'M BACK.

I took the train up to Albany this weekend for my dear friend's wedding, and I must say that it was so, so nice to sit for 3 hours and look out the window at all of the changing leaves (that haven't fallen off yet). The route up there follows the river the entire way and it was such a nice break from the craziness of the city.

But, the best part of the weekend was seeing Miss EE looking so beautiful and so happy. Congrats to the wonderful couple!

Tomorrow night, Sanchez and I are going to see everybody's favorite crazy hippies:

Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros!!

I can't wait!

ALSO.

It is very windy right now.

2 HUGE THINGS.

1. This is happening:

James Taylor and Carole King are going back on tour together.

I have officially lost my mind and if I do not get a ticket to this show, I will stand outside the stage door until they let me in. I can't even begin to tell you how much these two have influenced my life. I used to listen to Carole's Live at Carnegie Hall album on repeat and play the medley track of her singing with James Taylor over, and over, and over, and over.

I've already seen James live with my Mom, one of the best concerts ever, but I've never seen Carole. Before the show started, I leaned over to my Mom and said, "Wouldn't it be so great if Carole King came out right now?"

2010 can't come soon enough.

2. I just saw Circle Mirror Transformation by Annie Baker at Playwrights Horizons.

It is the best play I've seen since the Norman Conquests and I fell head over heels in love with this playwright. She is 28, people!!! 28!!!! You are making a very bad choice if you do not buy a ticket to this play before it closes. They're already on their second extension, it closes on November 21st, and there are discounted tickets available. The writing is fantastic, the actors are the definition of ensemble, it is moving, riotous, quirky, and simple.

Go, go, go.

FIVE YEAR OLD FREE DANCE.

I cannot even begin to tell you how many countless hours I spent as a kid putting music on and just dancing around. As I've gotten older, I've continued this practice when I am home and I find it to be an excellent cure for just about anything.

Today was just a weird day, it was cold, I was stuck in an office all day and came home and still had to do a ton of work. So I decided to flail around and share it all with you. I hope it brings you joy and I hope it inspires you to do the same.

We have a new feature here on the blog:

FIVE YEAR OLD FREE DANCE.

Y'all ready for this?

Please feel free to submit song suggestions.

THAT DIDN'T HELP MY CHI.

I went to a yoga class at my gym today. I hadn't been to yoga in a really long time, I felt the need to be stretched out since I've been running a lot lately, and I was ready for a little bit of quiet, too.

I got stretched out and it was a pretty good class, with the exception of the fellow who decided to limber up next to me and breathe, really loudly, the entire time.

This is what he was doing:

I did not find it amusing.

WEDDINGS, MIDDLE SCHOOL, AREPAS, AND RACISM.

This weekend was filled with so many great things.

1. I finished writing my pilot episode (whew).

2. I got to see my friend Parmersan. I've known her since I was 12, and even though I only got to hang out with her for a small while, it was still great. She always cracks me up.

3. I also saw Parmersan's younger sister, who apparently is not in 3rd grade anymore. Unbeknownst to me, as Parmersan and myself were getting older, so was Parm v.2.0. She is basically a WOMAN now with a REAL JOB and I can't really handle it. She is still supposed to be in the lower school! She is not supposed to be hip and living in New York! It's bad for my psyche.

4. I went back to my favorite arepa place (Caracas Arepa) with Wrenndolyn and some other good buddies. They have the best secret sauce. Nobody knows what is in it - they don't even tell the wait staff - and every time I go I swear I am going to steal one and put in my purse to take home, but I never do. They have a place in Brooklyn and another 4 blocks from my apartment. DELICIOUS.

5. My banjo player got married yesterday! It was gorgeous out, the ceremony was absolutely beautiful, I cried multiple times, and I am so happy for the two of them. They are a great pair and I was honored to be able to attend (and sing!) on their big day.

6. After the wedding, I ran down to the Neil Simon theatre where, thanks to Miz Millah, I was able to see the new revival of Ragtime on the big Broadway. It was a visually stunning production with some powerhouse performances. Every song in that show is like an anthem...very rousing, lots of songs about America and dreams. I wept a few times and the orchestra was off the hook. No one can deny the uplifting, jaw-dropping feeling of heavenly awe that comes when you are gifted the sounds of 28 top-notch musicians playing together. It is heaven. It is other-worldly. And I lurved every second of it. Can you imagine getting to sing to that 8 shows a week?!!?!???? Stellar.

'TIS THE SEASON.

Oh, I thought it was time to bring this back. I love this video - IT SLAYS ME - and since we're getting close to the holidays...

FROM THE SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE.

"Fresno County authorities have arrested a man they say broke into the home of two farm-workers, rubbed one with spices and whacked the other with a sausage before fleeing."

BITTEN BY THE BUBLE.

I just had to come clean; I could not keep this a secret anymore. It is official. I have been bitten by the Buble bug. I cannot help it, but I really like this song.

So much so that I danced around in my undies post shower to it. I have a major soft spot for poppy piano lines mixed with a big, fatty horn section.

One thing: Is it just me or does he have on some seriously light pink lipstick here? It is a lovely spring color.

P.S. I like writing his name without the accent on the "e" because then you can pronounce it "Booble" which I find very amusing.

OMG.

Netflix has Pippi Longstocking on Instant View.

Meaning I am watching it RIGHT NOW.

I AM IN HEAVEN.

THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT.

A huge thank you to the folks at Banjo Jim's for hosting us last night. We had an absolutely wonderful time and are hoping to play there again soon!!

The absolutely wonderful time also made it slightly difficult for me to wake up this morning and go work...Like, a lot slightly. But, alas, I rallied and made it through the day.

Just got home and all I can say is thank god for Netflix, tea, and the Magnolia cupcakes my roomie stole from work the other day. I am caving in and eating one of those suckers tonight and am anticipating a bedtime of about 9:00pm, seeing as it is currently 5:30pm but it feels like midnight.

Hoooooweeeee.

ROOFTOPS TONIGHT!

If you have nothing to do tonight, come on over to Banjo Jim's in the East Village to hear us play. We'll be going on sometime around 10:30 or 11:00pm and it promises to be a good time!

MONDAYWHATDAYIZIT?

Wow.

Apparently it is only Monday but I feel like 90 million things have already happened so logically it should be 2 Fridays from this Friday.

Ya got me?

Today consisted of running a bajillion errands, writing, working, rehearsing, working, running to a play reading, and more. But, I got to see some great theatre friends from my reading back in August and good things are a-brewing (a seasonally appropriate description, I think...witches brew, yada yada yada).

The weather here is finally starting to really feel like fall and the leaves outside of my window are yellow, which is quite a nice thing to wake up to in the morning. I am in the midst of writing the pilot for this series I am working on and finally, tonight, I came up with some ideas. I realized that I come up with my best ideas when I am quiet and staring at people. Not in a creepy way, but ideas somehow manage to pop into my head when I am sitting around, looking at life, and looking at folks who are around. Because, people are hilarious. People do absolutely weird stuff right and left and staring into space while people are doing wacky things is the best environment for spontaneous combustion.

So if you see me sitting in a park or in a coffee shop looking like a space case who is staring at people, I am probably coming up with something that is totally LIKE WHOA.

Also, to wrap up the Ween of the Hallow, I would like you to know that I was balloon boy for Halloween. I carried around a balloon and a plastic tupperware container that I pretended to barf into whenever anyone asked who I was.

Sorry, Falcon.

COUGHING UP PLANETS.

After sleeping for 12+ hours last night, I woke up this morning with a little bit of a cold. My brain was rawwwther foggy today with a scratchy throat and a low grade fever. So, I did not leave my apartment at all and instead drank copious amounts of Theraflu (WHAT is in that stuff that makes it taste so good?!!?) and totally re-organized my closet.

My "sick day" was actually extremely productive.

Now, I am sitting in bed with a cup of hot chocolate and am about to watch the new version of Grey Gardens. I am thoroughly obsessed with the original documentary, so I am going into this one with a skeptical eye. I am hoping it is good, although I don't know if anyone can beat Christine Ebersole as Little Edie. That woman's performance was frighteningly accurate. Talk about channeling...

I will leave you all with a little "gardening" video my roommate and I made. This was from the day she received her Halloween costume pieces in the mail...Genius.