THE WALL.

If winter is a wall, I am currently running into it. Like, slamming my whole body into it at breakneck speed. Last week was kind of delightful because I had a snow day. This week is kind of complete sh*t because the snow has started to melt and we are due for yet another storm. I just need a little bit of a break from the cold and from the schlepping. Just a little break. Is that too much to ask?

Apparently.

"Luckily for Suffolk County, New York City, we're only expecting two to five inches of snow with maybe a quarter inch of ice."

I'm sorry, Ms.-Nash-of-the-National-Weather-Service, but I do not feel lucky. No, I do not feel lucky at all. I feel mucky and cold and withered and old. If you could arrange it so I could take care of all forms of business and living from my bed allowing me to ride out the next two months sequestered in cozy comfort, then I would feel lucky.

FOR THE LOVE OF LIZA SOMEONE SEND ME TO FIJI.