OFF WITH A BANG.

I can't believe it is only 9:30am. It has already been quite a day.

I had to wake up early to head over to the Actors Equity building to sign up for an audition. For those of you who have no idea how this process works, if you are a union actor and there is an open call for a show (an Equity Principal Call), you can get an audition appointment slot. Sign ups begin an hour in advance of the call start time, so if the audition starts at 9:30am, sign ups start at 8:30am. But, people start getting in line to sign up way before the hour mark.

That is like one of those math problems they would give you about trains leaving the station.

If the audition starts at 9:30am and it is for a big theatre company so there will be a million people signing up for slots, what time do you need to get there?

Anyways, I was planning on leaving my place around 7:30am to get there by 8am to stand in line for 30 minutes to sign up for a slot so that I could go back later in the afternoon to actually audition.

CRAZAY.

My alarm didn't go off, so I woke up at 8, threw my running clothes on and basically ran out the door to everyone's favorite place - Times Square.

Let's just get something straight. It is appropriately called, "Times Square." Not, "Take Your Time in the Square" or "We've Got Time To Spare Square." So, for the love of geebus, when you are walking in Times Square (or pretty much anywhere in New York, but Times Square is where all the tourists are), please, please, please do not stop in the middle of the sidewalk and stare up towards the sky like it is the first time you've ever seen it.

I totally understand that Times Square is an incredible place. I really do. And I am all about taking your time to see the sights and enjoy life. But they have opened up almost all of Broadway so you can literally stand in the middle of the street and look all you want. They even give you chairs so you can sit there and marvel at all the wonders New York has to offer you.

So, don't stand there when it is raining and hot and steamy and I am running late. I might just whap you with my umbrella.

On a funnier note, when I was coming home I saw these folks hanging out in the park with:

an office chair and a pair of skis.

My sister is flipping out right now because there are pigeons in the picture. I just know it.

And, the other day when I was in an office building, I spotted this company's sign and couldn't stop laughing about it:


They really do sell dolls. I googled them. These people are hysterical geniuses.