Thursday, September 10, 2009


I just got back from the most insane class I have ever taken at a gym.


It was supposed to be one of the normal conditioning classes but apparently they swapped the regular teacher with a deranged African dance Juilliard graduate with a degree in insanity. And she wasn't wearing a bra.

Class started with about 30 minutes of rapid flailing of appendages in all sorts of directions while jumping at crack speed. After about 5 minutes half the class looked like they were about to barf and I started laughing. Everyone looked totally and completely deranged. It was the definition of a spectacle.

Topics discussed (or shouted, rather) during the class after the teacher applied roll on deodorant in front of everyone while standing next to the sound system:

- Working on getting a degree in "Yourself" and applying that degree to attain "Heightened Levels"
- Phone sex
- Alexander Technique
- Burritos
- Her husband's flexibility
- Finding a husband
- Chip'n'dales
- Being obsessed with hanging upside down at the age of 25
- People trying to snatch your joy

I don't think I will be able to move my arms tomorrow. And I am sure someone will be able to snatch my joy because I won't have any energy to fight to keep it.

1 comment:

The Other Blog(ger) said...

Next week, it's on. And I'm NOT gonna wear a bra. Tina T won't know what hit her.