Tuesday, February 17, 2009


I am cracking up over this article. Please see my comments amongst the hilarity. Mom, I know you're going to ream me out for this one, so let's just pretend you've already told me to "spread kindness." I did a lot of nice things yesterday and am going to do even more nice things today because it is the birthday of one of my besties. I'm like, overflowing with kindness. Just like Li'l Palin's ta-tas are probably overflowing with breastmilk.

Here you go:

Hoping to set an example for others with her own experience, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin's daughter, Bristol Palin, would now like to become an advocate for preventing teen pregnancy.

"Everyone should wait 10 years," TEN YEARS FROM WHAT? FROM THE DAY YOU GET YOUR HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA? I NEED SOME CLARITY HERE the younger Palin told Greta Van Susteren on a FOX News segment that aired Monday night. "I hope people learn from my story … It's so much easier if you're married, have a house (INSTEAD OF LIVING WITH YOUR CRAZY A** MOM) and career (BESIDES BEING A HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT). It's not a situation you want to strive for." HOW MANY PEOPLE STRIVE TO GET A BUN IN THE OVEN BEFORE THEY CAN VOTE? DO A LOT OF PEOPLE PUT THAT ON THEIR WISH LIST?

Palin, 18, also said in the interview – her first since the teen "made headlines" last summer during Sarah Palin's GOP vice-presidential campaign – that her mother's view of abstinence, especially in regard to teenagers, is "not realistic at all." AKA KIDS ARE GOING TO DO IT AND THEY'RE DOING IT ALL OVER THE PLACE AND THEY ALWAYS HAVE BEEN.

Bristol further stated that although her mother is an outspoken Right to Life advocate, "It was my choice to have the baby. It doesn't matter what my mom's views are on it. It was my decision."

Recounting how she first informed her parents, Todd and Sarah Palin, of her condition, Bristol said she gathered her boyfriend, Levi Johnston, and her best friend I'M SORRY BUT ARE WE ON THE SET OF JUNO, HERE? DID SHE TELL HER PARENTS THAT PAULIE BLEEKER GOT HER PREGNANT?, but that getting the words out of her mouth was "harder than labor." BECAUSE YOUR MOM HAS GUNS IN THE HOUSE AND USUALLY THEY DON'T KEEP RIFLES IN THE DELIVERY ROOM.

The friend broke the news to the parents, said Bristol, who also described Johnston as a "hands-on dad." She added, "Eventually we'd like to get married."

As for her new situation, "I like being a mom," said Bristol. "I love it, just seeing him smile and stuff. It's awesome." IS IT AWESOME WHEN YOU HAVE TO STAY UP ALL NIGHT AND CHANGE HIS DIAPERS INSTEAD OF GOING TO THE PROM WITH PAULIE BLEEKER? PROLLY NOT.

Appearing late in the interview, carrying her grandson Tripp Johnston, Gov. Palin said, "Hey, life happens." EXCUSE ME? YO, SH*T HAPPENS? YOU KNOW THIS IS WHAT SHE WOULD HAVE SAID IF SHE HAD BEEN ELECTED AND THE UNITED STATES FELL APART. Of her unwed, teenage daughter's pregnancy, she said, "Not the most ideal situation, certainly you make the most of it." AGAIN, SOMETHING SHE WOULD HAVE SAID IF SHE HAD BEEN ELECTED AND MADE THE UNITED STATES FALL APART.

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